gunxbangbang

remember... kiss the ones you love goodnight

2005-01-09T19:14:30Z

hello lovelies!
i friggin have not updated in like a millenium. nothing interesting has been going on. went to a show on friday night at grandslam with my two best friends sonja michelle and ashley nicole*. there was so much pop-punk going on it was a mess. but i got to get harasses by dan kauffman and sean. thats cool i guess. and drew was there. it was exciting and then we went to medport after, drew dropped my whole bag of skittles on the floor. i was so saddened. so we all ran out and i slept at sonjas with ashley. then went home. it was totally insane, the girls know why hehe we're such bad kids man. its so funny. and yea now im sitting home on sunday by myself. i told aaron completely off today. im so done with his bullshit its not even fucking funny. he makes me want to fucking throw up. he makes my physically ill. i abhor him. i hope him and his knew pennsylvania whores have friggin fun. ugh! he makes me sick and i told him that and a bunch more. im so over him and i feel so much better. i feel like i only have 1/4 as much weight on my shoulders now. so i feel better about it. hes not worth all this trouble and im kicking myself in the ass for letting him get to me like that. what was i thinking.. who knows. toodles love♥

new years blast

2005-01-01T21:04:09Z

hello lovers♥
well last night was new years eve. wow was that eventful. me and sean picked up ashley from her house and then went to shop rite to eat and visit with roy in produce, haha. then we were getting food and i was shaking his head and some old lady was like "calm down theres food over here man!' it was fucking h y s t e r i c a l...you should have been there. then we went to my house and hung out and got ready and crap just because, and hung out until like 500 then we went to go meet up with jessie and dan kauffman and his girlfriend trish. got coffee and tried to situate all the plans. we were going to go to sakers but uhm we all decided to get drunk at my house instead.AND IM SO FUCKING SAD THAT MY SONJA FUCKING MICHELLE COULD NOT COME AND HANG OUT WITH US, SO THE NIGHT WAS SCREWED FOR ME AND ASH FROM THE BEGINNING!i LOVE you sonja♥♥! but anyways- so jon ritchie and collin and andrew michell got picked up and we went back to my house chilled and drank and got totally wrecked.jon richie must never consume any type of fucking alcohol again, it was crazy. then i started gettin sad because i missed aaron and i wanted him to be there, but ofcourse he wasnt and im not surprised. then like dan, sean and andrew slept over with my ashley. me and ashley sooo got all three of them and fucking put shaving cream all over them it was classic asshole thing to do but it was funny and i didnt get any sleep i think i maybe got 2 hours then at 9 the boys left and me and ashley ate food and watching napoleon dynamite. it wasnt that great, sorry i didnt find it too funny. ashley just left like at 330 and aaron made me sad just now

Girl your stare, those eyes I (love it when you look at me baby)
Your lips, your smile I (love it when you kiss me baby)
Your hips, those thighs, I (love it when you thug me baby)
And I can't, deny I (love it when I'm witchu baby)

I wanna get away, cause you know like I know
And there's a better day, a-comin, I'm hooked on your lovin
Believe me, and when you hold my body
I know you need me, wait for me bay-bay
I've been goin half crazy for your love
And I was told that the sex, better than drugs
Then get addicted, boy listen
I'm the only piece of the puzzle you're missin
Like when we kissin - bye bye bye
You got a girl that'll - ride ride ride
So take me, tonight
And do what you do to me baby

^ thats in my fucking ex boyfriends profile and thats deff. not about me so it makes me wonder what the fuck is he god-damn thinking! i fucking HATE him, wow i have to go and cry♥ ill update later

meaningless ramblings

2004-12-31T16:59:48Z

well, i just got my password back. i havent been able to update but. nothing really has been going on. been hangin out with seanizzle. i think tonight for new years me, seanizzle and dan and my ashley are hanging out. sonja michelle cant because she has to go to her dads, thats so horribly sad i love you sonja♥ well, ive just been sitting around my house for like 4 days watching jerry springer and maury, so people are just very dysfunctional.and last night sean and dan and seans really weird cousin chris picked me up and we went to medport ( how unusual)seans cousin farted really loud and it was gross. then we dropped him off and went to echelon mall so i could waste some money. i got a deathcab for cutie cute shirt and a like aqua shirt with 2 brown guns and a brown rose, its fucking amazing. oh and i got cool socks for 5 dollars. it was exciting. then we went to yashars house for some unknown reason i saw the immensely cool marc zdon and vronizzle and manduh were there. and a bunch of others. jaimie is mad at me for something really gay. i hate when people think you did something that you DIDNT and other people dont want to get involved for fear of being at fault. i hate that. but whatever is she wants to hate me fuck her i dont need it. ive already wasted too much energy on other people its fucking sick. i need to chill out and work on myself.i have to go and walk this little dashound named calvin. but me and dan have officially named him maynard..later children♥ toodles

gunxbangbang @ 2004-12-27T19:20:00

2004-12-28T00:21:08Z

yea well my mom took me off the internet for a while that bitch, but i convinced her to put me back on. im so confused right now. i feel like everyone in the world is abandoning me and just like lying endlessly and doesnt care. i feel like the whole damn world is out to get me. and i shouldnt because its like holiday spirit time whatever the fuck that means. well thursday night i went to the local show at grand slam with seanizzle and my sonja and ashley♥ those kids make me laugh nick started to fast-hump my sonja- i was shocked and appauled, but it was devilishly funny. vron was sad and i couldnt do anything to help her, and that made me feel like total shit. i hate when friends try and move in on other peoples EX's, its just wrong- but enough about that she has it under control now i guess. and then friday was christmas eve. i sat around at my g-moms and did nothing my cousin came back to my house with me and slept over, and at like 830 sean came over because i asked him too. i dont know why i just feel better with him to talk to, but whatever. i feel like i get under the skin of everyone around me and that im just like this big blob of horrible_ness. i want to just dissapear anymore, like honestly who effing needs ME of all damn people on this earth. but anyways, i didnt sleep all friday night and into christmas morning. i sat up and listened to music, cryed and whatever. oh and then i went to get up at like 730 from the floor since my cousin had the bed i tried to go pee, and i fucking blacked out and must have fallen into the tub because the next thing i remember what my head killingme and my legs up by my chest i wokr up in my tub with my mom asking me if i was alright. thats happened 2 times since then. it could be stress. aaron does a great job of stressing me out. im sure hes getting with another girl by now, he never cared about me.

Would you be my little cut?
Would you be my thousand fucks?
And make mark leaving space for the guilt to be liquid
To fill, and spill over, and under my thoughts
My sad, sorry, selfish cry out to the cutter
I'm cutting trying to picture your black broken heart
Love is not like anything
Especially a fucking knife- the used

i wish just for once that he would keep his promises and not lie to me. and i HATE myself for letting it get to me this fucking much but i cant help it. hes the only person in the world who can make me so fucking happy with just a smile and make me want to die at the same time. im sorry for the whole cry out and depressing drama- but i need something to occupy my time or else it will go into self-destructive things- it always does.
its hard to say i miss him so much, but since he's been gone its not the same
but im going to spare you- im done ranting
ill update again soon- until then ♥toodles♥

meaningless words from meaningless sentences

2004-12-22T22:02:23Z

hello darlings,
the journal thing is still a work in progress but my panchamy is working on it, today in school was like any other uneventful day. i saw dan while i was avoiding going to bio. hes an amusing child i must say...
then i got picked up from school with my ashwee and went to go and see her dog, amusing, uhm not really but i do ♥ her tho.
then i called sean we talked, i told his mom i feel bad for her having to raise him, hopefully he wasnt offended. then i went home and hung out with ashwee. she talked on the phone to hey boyfriend which wasnt that exciting considering aaron ( the EX boyfriend ) could care less if he ever speaks to me again. guys are so confusing i dont get it. and im going to sue the people who make chapstick! because they make it so friggin small that it just likes to roll out of everything you put it on, or into. YET AGAIN i lost another chapstick, this is getting rediculous i dont have the time or the money to go and get a new one every two days. anyways! tomorrow i think im going to the show with my sonja michelle and ashley, oh and i think sean is tagging along too. we have to fight, because i curse at him too much. doesnt he know that im the principal of tuff acedemy does he? hmm i guess not or else he'd know to steer clear my guns are outrageous. he was the first person to comment in my journal, how sad im so unloved :(...i want to dye my hair, but im scared to eff with it i could turn out like, well i dont know right now but when i do ill get back to you..im sitting in my house all by my lonesome im used to it. i tried to call aaron and tell him to come hang out with me tomorrow, yea i doubt that will happen but whatever guys are stupid. cheating is stupid too. JAIMIE dyed her hair i ♥ it so much shes so cute AHH! uhm well im sure that nobody is reading this so ill write later i dont have much to say
toodles♥

work in progress

2004-12-21T23:20:35Z

hello love buckets♥
my journal is a work in progress thanks to my deeneille
it will be up and looking sexy soon
♥kirsten
add me children, im done, mmkay thanks